Everything Is Fucked Vintage Wash Tee

€36,42 EUR
Free shipping on orders over $50

Not a crisis. Just an accurate reading of the current situation, printed on something soft enough to spend the day in.

Everything is fucked.

Said calmly. Which is worse.

  • Heavyweight CottonSubstantial fabric with a soft, broken-in feel.
  • Vintage-WashedGarment-dyed for a lived-in finish from day one.
  • Two Words, Full DiagnosisCovers whatever is going on without being asked.
  • Made To OrderPrepared specifically for your order in the USA.

Fit Guide

  • Your usual size: relaxed fit.
  • Size down one: closer fit.
  • Size up one: roomy fit.
  • Size up two: oversized fit.

Fit preference and body proportions vary, so the measurements below are the most reliable guide.

Size Chart & How to Measure +
Size Body Length Chest Width Sleeve
S 26 5/8 18 1/4 16 1/4
M 28 20 1/4 17 3/4
L 29 3/8 22 19
XL 30 3/4 24 20 1/2
2XL 31 5/8 26 21 3/4
3XL 32 1/2 27 3/4 23 1/4
4XL 33 1/2 29 3/4 24 5/8

Between two sizes? Size up. This blank runs relaxed already, and the garment dye means it will not shrink much after the first wash.

Want it fitted? Size down one. Want it oversized? Size up two. Anything beyond that gets long in the body rather than just wider.

All measurements are in inches, taken with the shirt laid flat. Body length runs from the high point of the shoulder to the hem. Chest width is measured one inch below the armhole. Sleeve length is measured from the center back neck.

Easiest check: lay a shirt you already love flat, measure armpit to armpit, and match that number to the chest width above. Because we dye these after sewing, measurements can vary slightly and still be accurate. That same process is what makes them soft.

The Details

Fabric Heavyweight garment-dyed cotton
Finish Vintage-washed for a lived-in feel
Fit Unisex relaxed fit
Sizes S through 4XL
Production Made to order. Allow 3 to 5 business days for processing before shipment.
Shipping Ships from the United States. Free shipping on U.S. orders of $65 or more.
Questions Sizing question or buying as a gift? Email customercare@untamedego.com
Care Instructions +

Machine wash cold with like colors. Do not bleach. Do not tumble dry. Line dry in the shade. Do not iron directly on the print. Do not dry clean.

What Customers Say

★★★★★

"I get so many compliments. The best was when the lady at Sephora saw it and filled my bag with samples!"
Kristin M. · Customer Review

★★★★★

"This is my second shirt and third purchase. Impressed with the quality every single time!"
Tara N. · Customer Review

★★★★★

"So soft and comfortable. I wear it all the time and it has become one of my absolute favorites."
Ashley L. · Customer Review

More Places To Put It.

Add A Mystery Sticker Pack

Holographic vinyl, waterproof, and built for laptops, water bottles, and anything else within reach. You do not pick which ones you get. That is the fun part.

Shop the mystery sticker pack

We've Got You

Every shirt is made to order and packed carefully. If yours arrives damaged or incorrect, contact customercare@untamedego.com and our team will help make it right.

Real humans. No customer-service maze.

View details